Karen vs. Crafting: Valentine’s Day Door

I’ll be honest. The Craft Wars are largely driven by three things:

1. We currently live in a rental. It needs all the help it can get.

2. I am too cheap to actually buy many of the things that constitute ‘help’.

3. My rebellious side continues to think: if you can do it, so can I.

Yeah. So. Here we are.

Karen 1: Crafts 0

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and my front door is ugly like you read about. I do a little etsy.com search for Valentine’s wreaths, with the idea of supporting a budding artist rather than torturing myself. I find this. Which is perfect! And $78.00.

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Etsy.com The September Tree

$78.00! I can totally do this myself. It’s a ribbon, for Pete’s sake, with sticks and burlap. I have burlap leftover from the previous Craft War. What could be easier?

I go and buy a $3.00 roll of ribbon. To prevent procrastination, I tape it to the front door. (How smart am I?)

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A week goes by. No worries, though, there’s still time. I tell myself that the neighbors (and my brother-in-law, who walked in and asked me why the front door was gift-wrapped in February) will be so impressed at the big reveal.

February 7: Molly and I go out in search of sticks. We bring some home and place them by the front door.

February 8: The Wonder Hub throws them in the trash. I dig them back out.

February 9: The Princess of Crafting comes over, arms full of intricately designed, personalized, glittery valentines. She can’t stay, but I recruit her for my project. If anyone can get me to craft, it’s my niece.

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February 11: She comes back over. We bake cookies. We build snow forts. We go swimming. She asks repeatedly about our project, but there’s just not time. We’re having fun!

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February 14: It’s perfect! What better day for the big reveal? I dig out the burlap and scissors, only to find Mimi coloring. She invites me to join her.

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February 15: I admit defeat.

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Sigh.

Until next time. Karen 1: Crafting 1

Karen vs. Crafting

I bought some burlap on December 5, with plans to make one of these, and also three of these.

I know some of you are on the floor right now. Those of you who spent years trying to get me to be crafty with you (Julie)..and possibly those of you who attended church lady craft nights during which I sipped coffee and ate goodies and talked my lips off but refused to even acknowledge that craftiness was taking place. I know it’s shocking. Karen? Crafting? What?? All I can tell you is this:

I have no idea.

So. My bag of burlap sat on the bench in the front entry. It sat on the floor in the corner of the dining room. It sat on the dining table next to the unopened sewing machine. In each of these places, it stared me down like a schoolyard bully.

I mostly ignored it.

I did have a deadline, though. I wanted the house decorated before the big boys arrived. When that deadline passed, I knew I wanted the table runner done before Mel and Pat arrived. When that deadline passed, I knew it had to be done before December 29, when Chris brought her new beau over for dinner.

When Chris brought her new beau over for dinner, I took the dang burlap out of its dang bag and folded it in half. Then I laid it on the table with the extra burlap trailing off the far end (and into a burlap puddle on the floor) where I hoped nobody would notice it. I added another, narrow, Christmas-y runner and a large Polish Pottery plate with candles, red placemats with napkins, and called it a day.

It was, if I do say so myself, ridiculous.

And then. Sometime after the dawn of the New Year, I found something with a higher procrastination priority (maybe packing up the Christmas decor?), and I got down to business. And I did it!

I, Karen Klasi, crafted.

Really.

 

Ready??

 

 

 

 

 

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Isn’t it pretty? It mostly hides the military-and-kid induced scratches and dents. It’s not frilly or girly or otherwise un-Karen. It’s kind of wrinkly (like me!) as it is nearly impossible (with my attention span) to iron burlap completely flat.

It’s got the fringy stuff on the edges, which I dig.

 

 

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(For the record, those pictures are no longer on the floor.)

I will admit to a little struggle with the photographs, based on the facts that, a) I missed the great light that transforms this room in the early afternoon, and b) I was too lazy to change camera lenses so, c) had to back myself up the first landing of stairs and then get on my stomach to take these shots.

 

 

 

 

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I was very into it, this photographing of my most excellent accomplishment. I wanted to show you what I’d done, how I’d conquered, all I’d overcome. In the end, I must have taken over two dozen shots. Of a table runner. What can I say? I was absorbed. I was engrossed, perhaps even consumed.

I was, apparently, not meeting someone’s needs..

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The end.