Karen vs. Crafting: Valentine’s Day Door

I’ll be honest. The Craft Wars are largely driven by three things:

1. We currently live in a rental. It needs all the help it can get.

2. I am too cheap to actually buy many of the things that constitute ‘help’.

3. My rebellious side continues to think: if you can do it, so can I.

Yeah. So. Here we are.

Karen 1: Crafts 0

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and my front door is ugly like you read about. I do a little etsy.com search for Valentine’s wreaths, with the idea of supporting a budding artist rather than torturing myself. I find this. Which is perfect! And $78.00.

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Etsy.com The September Tree

$78.00! I can totally do this myself. It’s a ribbon, for Pete’s sake, with sticks and burlap. I have burlap leftover from the previous Craft War. What could be easier?

I go and buy a $3.00 roll of ribbon. To prevent procrastination, I tape it to the front door. (How smart am I?)

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A week goes by. No worries, though, there’s still time. I tell myself that the neighbors (and my brother-in-law, who walked in and asked me why the front door was gift-wrapped in February) will be so impressed at the big reveal.

February 7: Molly and I go out in search of sticks. We bring some home and place them by the front door.

February 8: The Wonder Hub throws them in the trash. I dig them back out.

February 9: The Princess of Crafting comes over, arms full of intricately designed, personalized, glittery valentines. She can’t stay, but I recruit her for my project. If anyone can get me to craft, it’s my niece.

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February 11: She comes back over. We bake cookies. We build snow forts. We go swimming. She asks repeatedly about our project, but there’s just not time. We’re having fun!

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February 14: It’s perfect! What better day for the big reveal? I dig out the burlap and scissors, only to find Mimi coloring. She invites me to join her.

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February 15: I admit defeat.

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Sigh.

Until next time. Karen 1: Crafting 1

Not-So Random Valentine’s Week

1. The Wonder Hub is notoriously hit-or-miss with Valentine’s Day.

Hit– A singing telegram, complete with flowers and chocolates, at the doorstep of our fourth floor apartment. (2005, Germany)

Miss–A bag of Twizzlers and a shoot ’em up movie. (2006, Las Vegas)

Hit–A Charlie Brown Valentine’s Day. (2007, Las Vegas)

Miss–Never mind. I just can’t sell him (completely) down the river. (2003, 2004, 2008, 2010)

I’ve tried my best to school him, as is my life’s calling. I keep instructions simple: “Chocolates. Flowers. Jewelry. Pick any two.”

2. This year, on the ninth Valentine’s Day of our married life, my Wonder Hub has found his Valentine’s groove. My man is an early riser, and was long gone by the time I stumbled into the dark kitchen, sporting q-tip hair and Life Is Good jammie pants, to put on the water for coffee. Valentine’s Day was faaar from my mind, my friends. It was morning, and everything was far from my mind. My mind was still lodged in that deep fog of post-REM sleep that doesn’t fully clear until after 10am. As I fumbled in the cupboard for my favorite Polish pottery belly mug, I was jolted into the Land of the Living by this:

Dude. If you didn’t spend ten years of your life watching Ross and Rachel fall in and out of love on Friends, you won’t get it, but let me assure you that it’s big. Suffice it to say that within this one little phrase lies ..

I get you (and I still)
love you (and because of that)
I’m yours for life

3. He had me at lobster…but he wasn’t done yet. Because he gets me, he knew that the very next thing I would search out would be coffee beans. Which means I would open this cupboard door, and find..

this sweet note, taped to..

this sweet box of Edward Marc Vanilla Salt Caramels.

4. Dude. He was on fire. I was set. As far as I was concerned, he had trumped flowers with the lobster note. Lobster Notes and Chocolates. I ask you, what more does a girl need?

5. (Who are we kidding? She needs more. She always needs more.)

Because Valentine’s Day fell on a Tuesday, I was in my usual Tuesday morning state of apoplexy. On Tuesdays, I have the great honor of leading a ladies’ Bible study at my church. Being who I am (that is, being my mother’s child, and yes, I lay the blame squarely at her feet), I am always running late. In my usual frantic state, I opened my laptop to frantically type the Small Group questions before frantically emailing them to Steph (who saves my hide every single week by printing them off and handing them to me with a sweet smile when I run frantically through the door). Taped to my laptop screen was the Wonder Hub’s coup de grace.

6. Or so I thought.

When I opened my leader’s guide for the Small Group questions, I found..

this.

7.  Make no mistake, that dude is so my lobster.