I wish I could remember just how long I have been celebrating my Birthday Month. I do know that since the advent of email I have not failed to send Mel the following reminder:
Today is the first day of my Birthday Month. Please act accordingly.
Facebook makes it all the more fun, because while Mel generally ignores my reminders, many of my friends are happy to take up the cause and celebrate with me. This year, though, I’ve noticed some confusion in regard to my Birthday Month. I’d like to set things straight.
Birthday Month Tutorial
1. If you were born in my Birthday Month, it is also your Birthday Month. Make no mistake, my friends. I am not a celebration-hoarder. There is plenty to go around, and the more we celebrate, the better life will be.
(Now that we’ve cleared up that little misunderstanding, let me help you make the most of your Birthday Month.)
2. It is best to announce your Birthday Month ahead of time. You may need to do this more than once. People are busy; they appreciate the reminder. Start at least ten days out with a little note posted on your social media medium of choice. Something like:
PSA: There are ten shopping days remaining until the start of my Birthday Month!
Like I said, your people will love this.
3. Don’t forget the all-important day-of reminder. Mine always, always ends with “Please act accordingly.” It frees up people to lavish you with attention, gifts, caffeinated beverages. When it comes right down to it, it’s just good form.
And who doesn’t love good form?
4. Now I would like to address your responsibilities during the month-long commemoration of the day of your birth. Because so many of you are visual by nature, I’ve developed a little picture show of sorts to help you grasp this crucial concept.
Okay. It works like this:
Let’s say your true love brings you a steaming cup of hot coffee. Even though the slight possibility exists that the message he’s trying to send is something like, “Put down that book and come join the real world, for Pete’s sake!” the message you receive is, “Happy random Saturday of your Birthday Month!”
See? It’s Birthday Month coffee!
And here. You’ve just swept the wood floors when your pup comes in, having enthusiastically rolled yet again in the grass out back. You reach for your phone so that you can record the fact that she has (ever so thoughtfully, I might add) brought you Birthday Month gifts from the great outdoors.
Is it starting to make sense?
This. This is a Birthday Month gift, hand-delivered by the UPS dude, posing as a down comforter you ordered to replace the violently odiferous one on a teenager’s bed.
It’s all about perspective, people.
This. This takes the cake. This is a sweet (and sassy!) little piggy, ready to take you for your first-ever Build-A-Bear experience. Birthday Month celebrations don’t get any better than this.
And finally. This encapsulates so many things about the Birthday Month experience. This is a Birthday Month hike with some of your people and your good dog. This is drowning your senses in the glories of God’s creation. This is the inaugural outing of your brand-new Birthday Month camera lens. This is good.
5. And so. In summary:
Your Birthday Month
-There is plenty to go around.
-Share the month, share the love.
-Announce it to the world.
-Announce it to the world again!
-Celebrate every little thing, because
-You deserve it!
Happy Birthday Month, my friends!